RAIN

Last night, while you were asleep
I climbed through the clouds
To stand on the moon
So I could shoot at stars
And tell the heavens all about you.
But when I opened my mouth,
I couldn't speak a word.
So, I screamed for you!
And everything sounded like rain...

© Michael Ryan

GIVE ME SPACE

I load this gun with pain
Six chambers open to torture
Ammunition restrictions
I'm using hollow pointed feelings
When we leave pieces of us
In everything that once had meaning
I"m able to track you with ease

You must want to be my enemy
If you think that I'm crazy
This is threat level insanity
A mile high flight risk
30,000 feet to the no fly list
Blue clouds, gray skies
the sun is wet, the rain falls dry.

I can't see in the sunshine
But see too much in the darkness
Those little things that kill
Issues that I won't address
Some demons I should put to rest
Family members I need to reconnect with.

There's bridges burned
That I'm not ready to rebuild yet
Some things I've said
I can't take back
The first to admit
Those hurtful words
Never should have left my lips

I was a hurting soul
And the last to admit
I needed a hand to hold
Losing hope down a strange road
I get lost in outer space
And when I make it back to her

She wonders where my mind goes to think
So, I told her to wonder
Why my mind always feels the need to escape in the first place...

Now imagine a beautiful line
Like,
But, I love you.

Now imagine the most painful one like,
I love you, but...

© Michael Ryan

DROWNING IN THE DARK Today the world shook still
In one crushing moment
All momentum was altered
It was like the earth slammed into a steel wall
And what wasn't thrown off
Stumbles and crawls to the caves
All we can do now
Is pray for better days
We're drowning in dark nights
Just waiting for the sun to rescue us
Maybe at least touch us with its rays
But this feels like forever
I've already got my arm and head in
These end of days
And we lost another hundred and seven
To that sickness
Looks like another outbreak
As for the rest of us
We'll die from nuclear winter
There's just nothing I can change
T - minus ten days and counting
Until every man for himself
Maybe I should just kill myself
Because this is going to be a living hell
But, someone called me a demon child once
These products are becoming their environments
Here comes the devil calling
A haunting blackness
From a sky falling
This all feels so empty
I just wish it would all disappear
And he would just forget about me
Gotta keep moving
Will I survive to find who I was?
Or become completely empty
This looks bleak
Plus there's no food,
Only dead meat
Now my head's spinning
This must be those last minutes
I sit in a damp corner, yelling
My life flashes across my brain
Like a enigmatic crossword puzzle
I'm briefly inspired
I'm not dead
But I could never write again
Even my blood runs dry
I'm running out of everything I am
So I walk until I'm lost
The evil shadows me
I can hear a whisper
Before the rest of it starts laughing
Now it's a race
My heart beats the rhythm right into these wings
Like adrenaline that flows through the veins
Valves open with switches
Back filling holes and divets
Binding to muscles, building bridges
Soaked in my bones until there's nothing left
My eyes start to open their lids
This pace was made to be quickened
And if my body breaks
I'll know I gave it's all
So, to my Brain...Please, won't you follow
Because when I want to
I just put my mind to something
And I really fucking go
It's over, I'm focused
A wink and a smile in the face of hopeless
I don't need a weapon
I'm standing here, outside of time
Throwing acid drops of rain down on a top
But I've got bigger sharks to fry
Atop these hills
They have eyes
To watch prophecy fulfilled
Things won't ever be the same again
This climb is skill level insane
With experience in extreme pain
The summit approaches
The devil awaits in a relaxed state
Where's God in all of this?
I'm a poster child for defiance
Under the roof of a tyrant
I'm filling the shoes of my own giant
Like a boss before I was even hired
I'm not a cop,
But you can bet your ass that I'm wired
I'm at the top of hell's office
There's a path leading down onwards
Approximately six feet deep
Pictures of my kids looking down on me weeping
I'm having a hard time breathing
On my knees in the mud for eight empty hours
Kneeling next to a carcass
Facing my darkest seconds ever as a father
Pulled from behind
From deep inside,
Now in front of me, still creeping in
My eyes shatter all over again
When they say
Your child's heart stopped beating
This surface, I can't scratch or touch
Not without it bleeding
Fuck this, I'm fed up
Running head first into the worst parts of the Bible
Ready to meet my evil
I come up to a mirror
Nothing else here to believe in
So I look at me
And I watch myself die
As I'm born again
In the same moment
Right in front of my own eyes
This whole time
I've been locked in my own prison
I was the escape plan
The world moves again
With me, finally in unison
The earth is alive
Hell is the mind dwelling
Facing fear is the journey we're all making
Everything is a map
And we're all the key
Unlock your heaven
Break out tonight
Even if you break down inside
Don't give up
Don't lose hope
You've got time
Just breathe, now go!
I'm gone...


© Michael Ryan