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Poetry of Michael Ryan


 

RAIN Last night, while you were asleep I climbed through the clouds To stand on the moon So I could shoot at stars And tell the heavens all about you. But when I opened my mouth, I couldn't speak a word. So, I screamed for you! And everything sounded like rain... © Michael Ryan

 

GIVE ME SPACE I load this gun with pain Six chambers open to torture Ammunition restrictions I'm using hollow pointed feelings When we leave pieces of us In everything that once had meaning I"m able to track you with ease You must want to be my enemy If you think that I'm crazy This is threat level insanity A mile high flight risk 30,000 feet to the no fly list Blue clouds, gray skies the sun is wet, the rain falls dry. I can't see in the sunshine But see too much in the darkness Those little things that kill Issues that I won't address Some demons I should put to rest Family members I need to reconnect with. There's bridges burned That I'm not ready to rebuild yet Some things I've said I can't take back The first to admit Those hurtful words Never should have left my lips I was a hurting soul And the last to admit I needed a hand to hold Losing hope down a strange road I get lost in outer space And when I make it back to her She wonders where my mind goes to think So, I told her to wonder Why my mind always feels the need to escape in the first place... Now imagine a beautiful line Like, But, I love you. Now imagine the most painful one like, I love you, but... © Michael Ryan

 

DROWNING IN THE DARK


Today the world shook still In one crushing moment All momentum was altered It was like the earth slammed into a steel wall And what wasn't thrown off Stumbles and crawls to the caves All we can do now Is pray for better days We're drowning in dark nights Just waiting for the sun to rescue us Maybe at least touch us with its rays But this feels like forever I've already got my arm and head in These end of days And we lost another hundred and seven To that sickness Looks like another outbreak As for the rest of us We'll die from nuclear winter There's just nothing I can change T - minus ten days and counting Until every man for himself Maybe I should just kill myself Because this is going to be a living hell But, someone called me a demon child once These products are becoming their environments Here comes the devil calling A haunting blackness From a sky falling This all feels so empty I just wish it would all disappear And he would just forget about me Gotta keep moving Will I survive to find who I was? Or become completely empty This looks bleak Plus there's no food, Only dead meat Now my head's spinning This must be those last minutes I sit in a damp corner, yelling My life flashes across my brain Like a enigmatic crossword puzzle I'm briefly inspired I'm not dead But I could never write again Even my blood runs dry I'm running out of everything I am So I walk until I'm lost The evil shadows me I can hear a whisper Before the rest of it starts laughing Now it's a race My heart beats the rhythm right into these wings Like adrenaline that flows through the veins Valves open with switches Back filling holes and divets Binding to muscles, building bridges Soaked in my bones until there's nothing left My eyes start to open their lids This pace was made to be quickened And if my body breaks I'll know I gave it's all So, to my Brain...Please, won't you follow Because when I want to I just put my mind to something And I really fucking go It's over, I'm focused A wink and a smile in the face of hopeless I don't need a weapon I'm standing here, outside of time Throwing acid drops of rain down on a top But I've got bigger sharks to fry Atop these hills They have eyes To watch prophecy fulfilled Things won't ever be the same again This climb is skill level insane With experience in extreme pain The summit approaches The devil awaits in a relaxed state Where's God in all of this? I'm a poster child for defiance Under the roof of a tyrant I'm filling the shoes of my own giant Like a boss before I was even hired I'm not a cop, But you can bet your ass that I'm wired I'm at the top of hell's office There's a path leading down onwards Approximately six feet deep Pictures of my kids looking down on me weeping I'm having a hard time breathing On my knees in the mud for eight empty hours Kneeling next to a carcass Facing my darkest seconds ever as a father Pulled from behind From deep inside, Now in front of me, still creeping in My eyes shatter all over again When they say Your child's heart stopped beating This surface, I can't scratch or touch Not without it bleeding Fuck this, I'm fed up Running head first into the worst parts of the Bible Ready to meet my evil I come up to a mirror Nothing else here to believe in So I look at me And I watch myself die As I'm born again In the same moment Right in front of my own eyes This whole time I've been locked in my own prison I was the escape plan The world moves again With me, finally in unison The earth is alive Hell is the mind dwelling Facing fear is the journey we're all making Everything is a map And we're all the key Unlock your heaven Break out tonight Even if you break down inside Don't give up Don't lose hope You've got time Just breathe, now go! I'm gone... © Michael Ryan





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