ilamagazine1

Jan 7, 20233 min

Abdul Karim Al-Ahmad Feature


I was always
 
The passenger
 
Who made the boat more likely to sink
 



 

 

 
(Birth)

I was born
 
A little before my due date
 
On the night when controversy raged
 
About everything
 
A release conditional on obeying the terms
 
I was born deceived and still am deceived
 
At the moment when Satan was drinking a toast to his third victory
 
On the night when knives were being sharpened
 
I was born
 
With a memory sew together with a needle and thread
 
Full grown in a way
 
With ideas liable to change
 
With an arm not up to armed combat
 
With a soul where anxiety has taken root
 
With a mouth that stammers when it speaks
 
And a compound name with no links to modernity
 
And a heart open to all possibilities.
 
I was born
 
By divine decree
 
In the alleys
 
Of the third world
 
Following Plan B
 
In a somewhat primitive way
 
in the clinic of a midwife who didn't believe in fate
 
I was born in installments
 
With this body liberated
 
From the womb that kept trying to abort it.
 


(To the Drowned Paul Celan)

As if it is happening now
 
That river in whose head you spin
 
Remembers you
 
Until now
 
It remembers
 
Your lined forehead
 
Your eyes staring
 
Into unknown spaces
 
Your hand furrowed
 
By a scalpel and your terrifying jump
 
On that crazy morning
 
Celan everything was real
 
In that obscure event
 
Your waterproof shoes
 
Your last cigarette
 
The Mirabeau bridge
 
The distant whistles of the steamboats
 
Your shadow that always wanted you to look different
 
The dreams that left you imagining how the final scene would be
 
And this sky with its seven layers
 
Why didn't you think about things for longer?
 
Was the world so terrifying?
 
What are you doing to tell the world about the magnetic river mud
 
A garden settled in the face of nature
 
Or roots of a river squeezed between two banks
 
Celan
 
The sun was present at the farewell ceremony
 
And the eager water applauded
 
With great enthusiasm
 
Your overwhelming presence
 
The German-speaking Jew
 
The comrade tormented in concentration camps
 
Celan
 
We miss you
 
We who don't read much
 
We who press on these fingers
 
So they say something
 
We who rely on chance
 
To find ourselves
 
We who are trying to make you a promise


(A Concert)

In a while
 
And with these fingers that have never pulled a trigger
 
I will play a tune
 
On a sunflower
 
On your shirt buttons if I can
 
A tune
 
Longer than the river Rhine
 
More powerful than the whistling of the wind that travels with its diplomatic passport
 
To the sound of rumbling tanks
 
I will play that rebel tune
 
To the audience who doesn't take the performance seriously
 
To the sun that investigates the identity of the new prophets
 
To dogs who think about sex
 
To that invincible force
 
I will play a tune
 
With or without these crooked fingers
 
On matchboxes
 
On walls
 
Where 'The people want' is written
 
On barbed wire sharper than it ought to be
 
On shoes that run marathons on bad days
 
I'll play the tune
 
That's spreading through these fingers now
 
Like a boat that has overcome its obsession with sinking.

© Abdul Karim Al-Ahmad


Abdul Karim Al-Ahmad is an author from Syria and currently resides in Germany. He is a writer of poetry, stories and novels, a number of them having been published in Arab and international literary magazines and websites.


 

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